Bad to the Bone

This past weekend I travelled back to the Iowa State campus to spend time with my fraternity brothers. As you can see from the photo below, I was completely out of control on Saturday night. That napkin clearly says "Do Not Open" and I have blatantly disregarded its authority.

Truth be told, I'm very lucky to be alive or at the least holed up in a Story County prison! I could have started a riot with my reckless behavior or things could have escalated into breaking through a mattress store door to cut off all of those "Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law" tags.

Mom...dad...I'm sorry you had to see this.

This is the most deviant behavior I've displayed since a trip to Atlanta in 2001 where I clearly defied the authority of this sign on the wall.